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Monday, November 17, 2008

Mom's birthday

My mother turns 81 today. Happy birthday, mom.

We've established that she doesn't want any more "stuff" for her birthday, or, for that matter, for Christmas. In fact, our present for her 80th birthday was the removal of a half ton of trash. Being four or five states away, that's not always an option.

Generally, gifts now are consumable (food, postage stamps) or disposable (flowers, e.g.).

So this is what I wish for my mom: clarity. She seems...stuck. Without getting into it too much, she often talks, thinks and worries about people, places and things that she has NO control over. People who disappointed her from many years ago, in large part. I wish she could just let it go, maybe write letters to these deceased folk to rant at them.

Lest you ask, I don't think this is a function of Alzheimer's. She was checked for hat last year. The pattern of behavior long predates that.

One of my sisters, who lives with her, is at her wit's end as to what to do. That I would talk about it this much expresses my own sense of helplessness in the situation. I'm open to suggestions. Perhaps it is that the children should just let it be.


1 comment:

Uthaclena said...

I would suggest that it might be beneficial to look into those things that Mom does have control over, and try to determine whether those things are satisfying and truly meaningful to her. I get the impression from your short piece that she is cycling through one concern after another, unable to focus. I see this same tendency in my mother who will be 81 in February, her being overwhelmed just by the activities of daily living. The sad challenge, though, is seeing if we can teach the 'old dog new tricks.' Well, yes we can, although it takes much more energy, but, are they willing to learn?

Best of luck, bro.