I was sent this nugget:
"Does he, like many Democrats, think the election was stolen? Gore pauses a long time and starts in to the middle distance. 'There may come a time when I speak on that,' Gore says, 'but it's not now; I need more time to frame it carefully if I do.' Gore sighs. 'In our system, there's no intermediate step between a definite Supreme Court decision and violent revolution.'" (New York magazine, May 29, 2006, page 24, line 57)
These are carefully couched terms. My sense is that the former VP and senator, a son of a senator, is being very politic. I believe that he's really a bit grumpy, and deservedly so.
My friend Sarah has been accused of being a grumpy young woman. I wouldn't call her grumpy, I'd consider her concerned for the state of the country.
Whereas I AM grumpy. This takes on two forms, the political and the personal. Re: the former, I'm grumpy that the Senate's going to vote on ANWR--again. That Federal Marriage Amendment is bugging me; a friend has suggested joining a postcard campaign against it, which couldn't hurt, I suppose, though I think personalized individual postcards and e-mails may be more effective; since the anthrax scare of 2001, letters are less effective. Oh, and there's other stuff, too.
On the personal side, I discovered this week, to my horror, that a private conversation I was having at work could be heard perfectly four cubicles away. Conversely, I seem to be able to hear three groups of people talking, including every visitor, but only in a cacophonous mush.
I'm grumpy because I seemed to have missed the memos about how we're tracking our questions, a small matter I suppose, but how did I miss it? I read an e-mail that my work e-mail had changed, so I sent out a bunch of e-mails to others to that effect, then I was told it hadn't changed...yet. It will be, BTW, roger.green@nyssbdc.org..soon. Apparently, I received one or more phone calls last Friday and/or Monday, based on the light on my phone, but I can't access them.
I'm uncharacteristically grumpy in a "bite-my-bottom-lip" sort of way, and I don't think it's my general state of being.
At least one of my colleagues is a bit grumpy, too. Writing to a third party: "Not to overstate things, but this has been the single most frustrating two-week stretch of work in my time here." Internet has been intermittent. The power in the whole building went off for about 15 seconds on Tuesday, etc., etc., etc. At least we've gotten our CD-ROMs for the library on the eighth working day there.
I think it's a function of the fact we like doing our work, and we like doing it well, and it's been hard to do our jobs, WHEN we can do our jobs; a couple librarians STILL don't have a working printer. A couple of us went to our work conference earlier this month to explain that we would be attacking the backlog of reference questions, when what's been happening has been the opposite; I finished two questions yesterday that came in on the 20th...of April, totally unacceptable to us.
Also, in part, I think it's also because it's been uncommonly gloomy, weatherwise. Rain at least 10 of the last 12 days at some point, though it was sunny yesterday.
In fact, it's gotten so bad that I've been forced to sing Broadway musicals to cheer myself up.
So, this what I'm asking for: Funny stuff. Laugh out loud stuff. Stupid stuff. Tasteless stuff. As long as it's funny. Or in the words of another musical Be a Clown. Laughter is the best medicine, or so Reader's Digest would tell me. Post to the site or send it to my CURRENT e-mail address. Or else I'll be forced to sing "Tomorrow" from Annie.
Examples I've already gotten:
This
and this
A woman on the bus I see often told me these yesterday:
Why did the bicyclist crash into the wall?
Because he was two-tired.
What did the fish say when he crashed into the wall?
"Dam."
***
Freddie Hembeck talks about Freddie and the Dreamers' front man Freddie Garrity, who died recently, in today's post. Ah, I remember him well. THAT'LL cheer me up- doing the Freddie!
8 comments:
I found this funny, though that doesn't mean that anyone else will.
http://www.scooterchronicles.com/blogpics/getfuzzy2008141860329.gif
Oops! Sorry about that. After blogpics it should be ...
getfuzzy2008141860329.gif
I'm grumpy because everyone at work won't shut up about freakin 'American Idol,' which I wouldn't watch if you gave me all the money in the land.
FMA has me grumpy too.
In fact there are probably a host of other things to be grumpy about. But at least we have a holiday weekend coming up.
I posted some cheer up stuff for you at my blog Roger. Only one of them is a funny, but the rest should help too, I hope. And don't even get me started on that damn marriage amendment. Keith and I have been together longer than a lot of legal marriages last, and we still have to face crap like that. I'm beyond grumpy--I'm flat pissed off.
I read your grumpy entry. I have a contribution to make, even if you are no longer grumpy. Even if you've seen it before, it might make you laugh.
Here goes...
When is @#$% Acceptable?
There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use.
They are as follows:
11. "What the @#$% do you mean we are sinking?"
-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912
10. "What the @#$% was that?"
-- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
-- Custer, 1877
8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
-- Einstein, 1938
7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
-- Picasso, 1926
6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?"
-- Pythagoras, 126 BC
5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
-- Michelangelo, 1566
4. "Where the @#$% are we?"
-- Amelia Earhart, 1937
3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
-- Noah, 4314 BC
2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton, 1997
and a drum roll............! .....
1. "I did not think they would get this @%#*^ing mad."
-- Sadaam Hussein, 2003
Hello:
The pictures are beautiful. Here is something funny since you need to laugh. If you need a Spanish translator call me.
Peace in the Middle East
In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?" "For about 60 years." "60 years! Wow, that's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I also pray for all children to grow up in safety and friendship." "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?" "Like I'm talking to a fucking wall." !
Central American Joke
PEPITO
The teacher asks Michelle, "Michelle, can you say a sentence with the
Word calculator in it?" Michelle responds, "yes, ma'am. When I do my
math I
use a calculator." "Very good!" replies the teacher.
Next the teacher asks Thomas, "Thomas, can you say a sentence using
the word calculator?" "yes, ma'am", replies Thomas. "When I can't figure out a math problem, I use a calculator to help me."
"Very good Thomas" Replied the teacher.
Next the teacher asked Pepito.
"Pepito, can you say a sentence using the word calculator?" "Si Mrs.", replies Pepito. "Guen my mamita make me som pasteles con som rice and con som habichuelas con som mofongo and Ieat it all up....den, I take a caca later.
I hope your having a Nicer Day. This should of taken some of the dullness of the move out of your mind for a few moments.
Love Ya’
Miriam
Hello Roger. This is it for today. Miriam
A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two
problems: I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results.
But now I've developed two annoying problems:
First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said," Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."
She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee."
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