I finished watching the Super Bowl at 11:47 pm Sunday night. Yeah, I know it didn't run that long. I finished watching the pregame last night.
I don't think I'm THAT selfish. Most TV I watch pre-recorded. The Grammys? DVR, mostly to see, this year, the re-formed Police. The Oscars? Like to watch for the speeches, not who wins. (Note to self: watch the Golden Globes before Oscar night or delete 'em.) As for the baseball playoffs and World Series, I tended to watch until 9 or so, then get up early the next morning and fast-forward through the rest.
I've watched the bulk of the football playoffs on the five-inch black-and-white set, while Carol and Lydia watched skating on the 19-inch color set. I offered to go to a sports bar on Sunday to watch the Super Bowl, but was told that I didn't need to do that. All I wanted to do was watch about six hours of mind-rotting football/commerce once a year in more-or-less real time, including about half of the pregame.
The wife asked earlier in the week whether she could go to the movies on Sunday, and I'd watch the child. Well...what time? 1 or 4. Yikes, not 4! So she went at 1 to see Freedom Writers, which she liked, BTW. Then she asked me at 4:30 if I wanted to take Lydia for a walk. I'm pretty sure I whined something, and she relented. (It was also COLD out.)
Anyway, I ended up taping the pregame, which allowed me to show the wife the segment about the Pittsburgh Steelers' Hines Ward and his Korean heritage Tuesday night. (She really liked it, as I suspected she would.)
The great thing about the DVR is that I can pause live TV, and I did, several times, to eat with the family, to make Lydia feel better when she had a table crash on her, to change Lydia. The tricky thing about the Super Bowl is that I DON'T fast forward through the commercials, as I do through usual TV.
End of pout.
Anyway, here are this year's Super Bowl commercials, watched only once each (unless they were broadcast more than once), to ascertain whether I 1) remembered them and 2) liked them.
NFL: Chad Johnson's Super Bowl Party
Martha Stewart, Janet Reno, Jimmy Fallon and David Beckham all gather together for a Super Bowl bash.
This was so grainy or out-of-focus that I didn't recognize any of those people in the commercial except Fallon.
Pizza Hut: Cheesy Bites and Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson glides down the red carpet, all for the tasty Cheesy Bites pizza.
My cultural illiteracy is such that I wasn't sure if that was JS, or someone feigning to be JS. Eh.
Ford: New F-Series Super Duty
The new Ford F-Series gets broken down into tons of tiny pieces.
For whatever reason, I tend not to remember motor vehicle ads very often, including this one.
Bud Light: Rock, Paper, Scissors
Bud Light shows why playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors" probably isn't the best way to determine who gets the last beer.
There is a bit of a mean/violent streak in a number of these commercials. Here's one, which I didn't enjoy, in part because I guessed the punchline before it occurred.
The Blockbuster rabbit and guinea pig are back, but they need a little help learning how to use a mouse.
Have they used these characters during the year? It's not that it was SO memorable two years ago. They should reprise the characters later in the year to maximize their effectiveness for the SB. That ad was OK. But the poor mouse!
Doritos: Crash the Super Bowl
A finalist for the Doritos Crash the Super Bowl contest.
Sierra Mist: Beard Comb Over
That beard comb over isn't fooling anybody. But, Sierra Mist Free tastes just like regular Sierra Mist!
Don't know if I liked this because I like Jim Gaffigan, or what. It's very silly.
SalesGenie.com will give you 100 free leads for signing up right now!
This was so cheesy that I thought it was a local ad.
Sierra Mist: Karate Class
How will you defend your Sierra Mist?
I didn't get the point of this ad, which featured Gaffigan and Michael Ian Black, both of Ed, now that I think of it. Seemed dopey.
Toyota: Tundra Stops on a Dime
The Toyota Tundra has awesome breaking power.
I said that I didn't pay attention to vehicle commercials, but this one I remember as pretty darned impressive, if you care about that type of thing.
Fedex: Office on the Moon
Behold, the zero-gravity moon based office of the not too distant future.
Better in concept than execution, which is how I find many FedEx SB commercials. The puns were a bit sophmoric.
Bud Light: Auctioneer Wedding
With an auctioneer presiding over the services you can get to the beer faster.
Not big yuck funny, because it telegraphed the joke, but OK.
There's nothing more sensual than sharing a sweet, delicious Snickers with your best friend.
The great controversial ad of 2007. I've heard earlier versions of this had the guys going at each other with wrenches and other tools after "the kiss". It wasn't so much offensive as it was so "Brokeback", and after a dozen parodies, and aware of hundreds more, it seemed...dated.
Schick: Quatro Science
Super Bowl Ads - Four blades are better than 3, are better than 2, are better than...
Saw it, don't really remember it.
A new sports drama from Lionsgate.
Chevrolet: Everybody Loves a Chevy (General Motors)
There's Chevy car for everybody.
Bud Light: Language Course with Carlos Mencia
Carlos Mencia teaches all the different ways to ask for a Bud Light.
I'm sure some people were offended by this one. Liked the punchline more than the setup, Holmes.
Late Show with David Letterman (CBS)
David Letterman and Oprah cuddle up to watch the game.
My favorite commercial. Worked on SO many levels: he's from Indiana, she's in Chicago; the feud, followed by her blockbuster appearance; the Oprah-Uma thing Letterman did at the Oscars. Sublime.
Everybody wants to work at GoDaddy marketing when it's a room full of sexy girls.
Saw this three times, I think, and each time I went, "Eh."
Coca-Cola: Grand Theft Auto
It's the Coke side of life with Grand Theft Auto.
I think I want to see this again. It was too busy on a first watch, but I wasn't turned off by it.
Budweiser: Fake Dalmatian
A little dog feels down and out, then the next thing you know he's got his own parade.
Awww! Not as clever as some of the others in the series.
Garmin Ultraman will defeat the evil map beast!
CareerBuilder: Office Jungle
Do you feel like your job is a horrible jungle?
I've been there, so I related to this one.
Doritos Crash the Super Bowl: Checkout Girl
This checkout girl gets a little excited over all the new Doritos flavors.
Need to watch again, because I wasn't sure what to make of it.
GM: Car Wash Dudes (General Motors)
Stripping gentlemen are here to wash your Chevy!
Here's the real problem with this ad: I can't see the car. Reminded me of a segment of The Apprentice (my wife watched, I was in the room) where both teams were supposed to make a commercial for a body wash, and the ads were both SO bad, neither team won the challenge.
American Heart Association: Gotta Have Heart
Diabetes and obesity beat up a poor little heart. Take care of the guy!
This ran at least twice. Yeah, yeah, take care of your heart, but this won't help me do so. That violent streak in the SB commercials continues.
NFL: NFL and United Way
NFL and United Way want you to step-up and volunteer your time.
I've become inured to NFL soft-and-fuzzy commercials. They become like wallpaper.
Bud Light: Slapping
Instead of a handshake, try slapping the other person real hard in the face.
More violence. Didn't particularly like. Irritating frat boy stuff. (But I can imagine other people actually doing it.)
GM: Robot (General Motors)
A car-building robot is nearly driven to the edge by an insatiable demand for perfection.
Bob Garfield's position on this was exactly the same as mine, which is that it reminded me that GM is llaying off people, and nobody can build a decent car for them. (See below.)
Coke celebrates Black History Month.
Don't remember specifically..
Wild Hogs (Walt Disney Pictures)
A new type of road movie starring John Travolta, Tim Allen, and William H. Macy.
Saw the trailer for this movie in the theater, which I probably won't see, so didn't pay the ad much attention.
Sprint: Connectile Dysfunction
Do you suffer from Connectile Dysfunction?
Frito-Lay: Enjoy the Game
Frito-Lay celebrates Black History Month.
Don't remember this, specifically. I remember SOMETHING about Black History Month, but don't know which ad was which.
Coca-Cola: What Else Haven't I Done?
When an elderly gentleman tries a Coke for the first time, it acts as a catalyst for all kinds of experiences.
I like the idea of this commercial more than the real thing, but didn't hate it.
The new Honda Ridgeline hauls quite a load indeed.
Oddly fond of this one.
Toshiba: HD DVD
Experience the thrilling new Toshiba HD DVD.
GM: Chevy is America's Favorite
Every twelve seconds, somebody buys a new Chevy.
NFL: Making a Difference
The NFL does its part to help make a difference in the community.
Nissan: Auto Claustrophobia
The new, and affordable, Nissan Versa puts an end to squashed hair-dos and auto claustrophobia.
Am I not paying attention anymore?
The Panasonic Toughbook can take all the abuse you can dish out.
Nope, don't remember.
Acura dreams up new innovations to keep them one step ahead of the rest.
Bud Light: What Would Carlos Do?
What would Carlos Mencia do in a situation like this? Hilarious.
Did see this, or maybe I'm confusing it with the previous Carlos ad. BTW, the notion of the minority person giving others as little info as possible reminds me of something I read years ago from a black female writer of note that the character should offer up as little info as possible.
Meet the Robinsons (Walt Disney Pictures)
The latest animated feature from Disney about a quirky family in the not-too-distant future.
E*TRADE: Bank Robbery
You'd never guess who the perpetrators are of this bank robbery.
OK, hit me over the head: your financial institution is robbing you blind. Irritating.
Coca-Cola: Happiness Factory
So just what happens when you put your money inside of the vending machine?
OK, on first view.
Bud Light: Gorillas
Gorillas trapped inside a zoo plan to steal themselves some Bud Light.
Better in concept than execution.
Revlon: Sheryl Crow
Revlon challenged Sheryl Crow to go on tour with their new hair color.
This ad had been teased during the pregame. Eh. But I do admire the resilience of the singer, who seems to have recreated herself a couple times. Not enough to actually buy her albums, though.
CareerBuilder: Office Jungle Fight
The office turns into Lord of the Flies when you're fighting for a promotion.
Good thing CareerBuilder ran three ads, for even though I enjoyed the ad, I still didn't remember the name of the company.
Taco Bell: Lions
Lions discuss the proper pronunciation of carne asada.
Eh. A followup, I noticed later, of a pregame ad.
Van Heusen: A Man's Walk (Phillips-Van Heusen)
This guy's got some stylish clothes.
Toyota: Tundra is Powerful
The Toyota Tundra climbs up an extremely steep crane.
Liked. OK, I liked quite a bit.
Emerald Nuts: Robert Goulet
Beware of Robert Goulet, for he will mess with your stuff once you fall asleep.
They should repeat it during the year, could be a successful conmmercial. Bob Goulet, perpetrator of ersatz cool. I rather liked it.
T-Mobile: Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley
Charles Barkley is old news...Dwyane Wade is where it's at!
Saw this before the SB. It's OK.
FedEx: Don't Judge
FedEx advises us not to judge a book by its cover.
Remember it. Maybe with repeated viewings, it'll be more interesting.
Nationwide: K-Fed Rollin' VIP
The now infamous Nationwide spot featuring K-Fed.
What is the problem here? I thought it was fine.
Bud Light: Hitchhiker
Would you pick up a hitchhiker? Would you pick up a hitchhiker if he was carrying a case of Bud Light?
More violence, this time implied. And I liked it, especially the punchline.
A Lexus gets dropped from a helicopter.
Jack in the Box: Just Like Dad
Little Jack follows in his daddy's footsteps...almost.
Footlocker: Kevin Garnett
Meet one guy who isn't too happy to receive Kevin Garnett's autograph.
Budweiser: Beer-Stealing Crabs
Little sand crabs scuttle away with a cooler full of Budweiser.
Remembered, but have no impression.
Prudential Financial: Rock Solid
Prudential wants to be your rock. How romantic!
The CR-V is all glitzy with Elvis playing in the background.
HP: Orange County Choppers (Hewlett-Packard)
The boys from Orange County Choppers shill for HP.
IZOD (Phillips-Van Heusen)
The sporty, preppy clothes of IZOD are back.
Budweiser Select: Jay-Z and Don Shula
Jay-Z and Don Shula play a high-tech game of tabletop football a la James Bond.
Remember well. Eh. Slightly irritating, and I'm not sure why.
E*TRADE: One Finger
Oh, the things that you can do with one finger.
The better E*TRADE ad; it DOES have that underlying attitude in the implied punchline.
Flomax: Here's to Men (Astellas Pharma)
Here's to men and all of their urinary problems.
I'm sure I saw this and ignored it.
Hannibal Rising (MGM)
Hannibal Rising is the prequel to all of the Silence of the Lambs movies.
Saw it. Eh.
Does your job feel like torture?
I've been there. Yes. AND I remember the brand name.
Honda: Fuel Efficient
Little Hondas motor around a slalom of gas pumps.
A man journeys to find out what EGCG is.
Do remember. Labored.
NFL: It's Hard to Say Goodbye
For some football fans, it's very hard to say goodbye.
An NFL ad I DO remember. It's OK.
Cadillac: Punk Rock
Decades of Cadillacs melt seamlessly into one another.
Cadillac: Tiki Barber
Tiki Barber explains why he loves his Caddy.
Netflix: Billions of Movies
Tons of movie characters take over the landscape as they make their way to people's homes.
OK, though I was VERY unclear at first just what was going on.
fight Girls Return!
The Miller Catfight Girls return to IFILM in a no-holds-barred manfight between two hot and sweaty beasts.
VIDEO: Bob Garfield Reviews the Super Bowl Commercials. "Why Snicker's 'BrokeBack Mountain' Moment Was One of the Game's Big Ad Blunders."
Found two old friends here, one of whom I've been in contact with. Happy, happy, joy, joy.
Elvis has left the building
16 hours ago