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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Some sleep-deprived post-election advice

To all candidates running ads: Yeah, Negative ads seem to work. But is that what you want as your legacy?

To the voters, disgusted with negative ads: You may not know that in 1800 Thomas Jefferson's opponents claimed that the anti-Federalists would "burn churches and murder opponents" to get the White House. So, those promises that negative campaigning will go away? Don't believe 'em.

To Donald Rumsfeld: I'm sorry, Mr. Secretary. This will sound harsh, and probably ageist to boot, but when I'd see you on those Sunday morning news programs, you'd use words, but they didn't SAY anything. I started to think of you as a doddering old fool. So, enjoy your retirement. Here are some well wishers.

To the President of the United States: Your ability to baldly prevaricate about Rummy's status in your administration, even as you were planning his departure, gives me some...apprehension.

To What's-His-Face: THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your attack on Michael J. Fox. You've gotten Democrat Claire McCaskill elected Senator from Missouri.

To Michael J. Fox: THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your classy response to What's-His-Face.

To Tennessee Republicans: Thank you for reminding us that race still matters in America. (Wink, wink.)

To Nancy Pelosi, incoming Speaker of the House, and third in line to the Presidency come January: I'm happy for you. You wrangled Democrats to have some party discipline. My wife, I must say, is THRILLED with your upcoming new job, as I suspect many women (and men) are.

To Howard Dean, chair of the DNC: Congratulations on the 50 State Strategy, without which the Democrats would never have won the Senate in 2006.

To Bernie Sanders: Congratulations on your election to the Senate, the only independent. (Joseph Lieberman belongs to the Connecticut for Lieberman Party).

To Congressman-elect John Hall (D-NY, via Orleans): I read that you didn't want to play your guitar much in public during your campaign, for fear that people wouldn't take you seriously as a candidate. Well, go play your guitar, since it's a stress reliever for you.

Do you ski? Since you are now going to be in the tradition of singer-songwriter-politician Sonny Bono, PLEASE be careful around trees.

To the press release: a belated 100th birthday!

To John Wiley & Sons: "Crackberry" as word of the year, eh? There's one addiction I DON'T have. Yet.
***
Links from Gay Prof and this person Chris Black linked to.

7 comments:

Gordon said...

"What's his name's" real name is Jim Talent, as in "the guy who lost to Claire McCaskill"

Please feel free to snigger.

GayProf said...

Now if only Bush and Cheney would suddenly resign...

EM said...

I'm still working on my post-election, but here in Louisville we proved that an admitted liberal Democrat running as a liberal Democrat can indeed unseat a mudslinging pro-Bush cheerleading incumbent. I've not stopped smiling since Tuesday!

EM said...

"post-election post" that is...

Nik said...

To the American people: Finally, some common sense!

Roger Owen Green said...

Gordon- Actually, the What's His Name I was thinking of was that guy who Al Franken verbally assaulted in his book title a decade or so ago. Between that and George Allen's macaca statement in VA, so went the senate.

GP- Cheney first. Don't want hiom ever to be President, even for a minute.

Nik- well, some.

Chris Black said...

Hi Roger
A great week, no doubt about it.

But tonight I'm disappointed. In fact I'm stunned.

According to the Guardian:

Labour has enlisted one of the engineers of this week's Democratic victory in the US midterm elections in an attempt to boost its flagging fortunes before the local elections in May.

Howard Dean, the former presidential candidate and one of the men credited with masterminding the trouncing of the Republicans, will visit the UK next month to brief party officials about his pioneering campaigning techniques.

Can somebody tell Howard Darth, I mean, Dean, that it's the Lib Dems who voted against going to war? THAT HE'S GOING OVER TO THE DARK SIDE?

That he should be on our side? That we thought he campaigned against the arrogant, complacent incumbent parties damaged by sleaze, not for them?