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Sunday, April 01, 2007

George W. Bush Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize!

It being April Fools' Day, and my brother-in-law Dan's birthday, he of the terrible puns, I figure I'd list some songs that feature the word fool that I actually own.

Chain of Fools-Aretha
Dancing Fool-Frank Zappa
If You Want to Make a Fool of Somebody-Vanilla Fudge
Ship of Fools-Erasure
What a Fool Believes-Doobie Brothers
Wicked Woman, Foolish Man-August Darnell
Won't Get Fooled Again-the Who
Why Do Fools Fall in Love-Joni Mitchell
Fool-Elvis Presley
Fool for the City-Foghat
Fool for You-Impressions
Fool in the Rain-Led Zeppelin
Fool on the Hill-Beatles; Sergio Mendes; Ramsey Lewis
Fool Such as I-Elvis Presley
Fooled Again-Tom Petty
Fooled Around and Fell in Love-Elvin Bishop
Foolish Games-Jewel
Foolish Little Girl-Shirelles
Fools-Deep Purple
Fools in Love-Joe Jackson

There are undoubtedly tons of other songs with the word fool inbedded. Seems Sinatra has a bunch, and I have a bunch of Sinatra. There's that classic What Kind of Fool Am I, which I must have by somebody. Of course, there's that duolog in Jesus Christ Superstar, appropriate for the season, with the line, "You're a fool, Jesus Christ, how can I help you?"
One of my favorire song that doesn't have fool in the title is Tell the Truth by Derek and the Dominoes ("who's neen foolin' you?")
But my favorite fool song is Led Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love: "You need schoolin', Baby, I'm not foolin'".
No, I never owned albums by The Fools, that Boston band with a couple albums in the early '80s.
Here's one version of my favorite terrible joke:
There once was a famous pitcher named Mel Famie. He was a great pitcher, a 0.45 ERA, and averaged 1.6 SO's per inning. He did have one flaw though, he liked to sneak a six pack or two into the bullpen during games.

It is the bottom of the ninth in Milwaukee, the game is tied at 0-0. Mel had started on his beer at the seventh inning, figuring that he wouldn't be used. One, two, three, four, the cans go by. By now, Mel is feeling a bit heated. The starting pitcher suddenly gets a cramp in his arm and can't continue. The coach calls Mel to the mound to relieve him.

Mel quickly stuffs his beer can into his back pocket, and gets out there. His first batter comes up...BALL ONE! The ump yells. Soon the count is full, and sure enough, Mel loses him. The next batter comes up...Mel has him at 0-2, but then throws four straight balls and walks him too. The coach wants to pull him, but Mel snows him into leaving him in. Mel strikes out the next batter with three straight fastballs.

So, Mel feels confident and sneaks the beer out of his pocket, and sucks the whole thing down, and slyly drops the can behind the mound. He faces his next batter...and can barely see the plate. He throws a ball just a bit outside, and then a strike. Then three more balls in a row. Now the bases are loaded, and only one out, but Mel somehow convinces the coach he can throw a double play ball. He gets the count to 2-2, then 3-2, and then he throws a curveball wide for ball four, walking in the winning run.

One of the Brewer players quickly runs out behind the mound and picks up the discarded beer can. One of his teammates says "What on earth do you want that thing for?"

To which he replies, "Don't you know?

This is the beer that made Mel Famie walk us!

(In another version, the opposition sneak beer to him.)




Amdocs is blackmailing America's "leaders." That's why they seem to be making such insane decisions:

Greg said...

In a world where Yassir Arafat got a Nobel Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised by this at all.