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Saturday, January 17, 2009

QUESTIONS designed to ensure domestic tranquility

Something happened recently, and my wife, who I must note rarely even reads my blogs, said, "Why don't you ask your readers" about a particular topic. I couldn't just ask you one simple question, though. I figure I'll ask you a series of question, all initiated by nearly 10 years of marriage. I'm going to try not to color the responses by what position I take versus what position she takes.

1. Where does your garbage cans reside on the days the garbage isn't going out: in the front of the house (including the front porch), on the side of the house, or the back of the house?

2. Do you wash your brand-new clothes before you wear them for the first time? Is the answer different if we're talking outerwear versus underwear?

3. Does it make sense to take dirty clothes from the first floor to the second floor so that they can be sorted, then taken to the basement to be washed?

4. Eating cottage cheese with eggs, the way you'd eat toast with eggs: normal or weird?

5. When your partner comes through the door, how long, if at all, do you wait before asking for a task to be done? (If you're not currently in a a live-in relationship, think back to when you did. If you've never been in such a situation, think about what you would think is appropriate.)

6. Not actually a question. Explain, if you can, the current scoring methodology for figure skating, how to calculate earned run average in baseball and why anyone watches soccer on television.



Johnny Bacardi said...

I'll take a stab at it:

1. We don't have cans, we have one of those big rolling containers ("totes", they call 'em) and we keep it by the side of the house, towards the back.

2. Depends; if they don't smell bad I'll wear 'em first time. Underwear, usually always first time.

3. Well, we don't have three floors, only a top floor and basement. We usually toss our suff down the steps and sort them before washing.

4. N/A; don't like cottage cheese.

5. Again, depends on the task- but I would think I'd give her a few minutes to get settled in before I ask.

6. Don't know anything about figure skating. ERA is easy; it's the number of earned runs multiplied by nine, and divided by innings pitched. I have no clue about #3, to me, watching soccer is like watching dust settle.

Rog T said...

Greetings from London

1. Round the side

2. Don't wash them

3. Makes no sense for me bts lots for the wife

4. Weird - You can pick up toast with an egg on, but how do you pick up cottage cheese with an egg on?

5. If my partner comes through the door, she always starts moaning at me before I get a chance to speak

6. Skating - not a clue. As to watching Soccer (or Football as we call it here) - We watch it because it is The Sport !!!! We have the same conversation about why Americans watch American Football.

Uthaclena said...

1. The garbage cans live in the garage behind closed doors.

2. New clothes? Out of the package, on to the body, after removing tags and pins. Don't miss the pins in the shirts.

3. Laundry taken upstairs before being taken downstairs? Dang inefficient, IMO. Then again, our house is all one-story.

4. Eggs = "bad." Liquid chickens. Nasty sulfurous things. DON'T eats 'em!!

5. I don't request chores from my wife. I am a well-motivated independent performer. Special requests will be considered.

6. It depends if its a European. or an African swallow...

EM said...

1. We have a shotgun house with a tiny front yard and no back yard access from the front, except by going through the kitchen. We have one of those city-issued big rolling cans which we keep on the side of the house, towards the front for easy access to the street on garbage day, but not so close to the front that it's an eye sore.

2. Wear em

3. Again, shotgun house. All one floor. But we never sort until the clothes are actually in front of the washer.

4. Cottage cheese is disgusting.

5. Wait.

6. Not a damned clue about any of them.

Anonymous said...

I thought I'd give a woman's view to these questions, though I make no claim to being a 'typical' woman. I should also note that my husband understood at least one question completely differently than I did, and therein might lie some of the problem you're having. So, to answer...

1. Garbage should be kept out of sight from the street, which means the back of the house (unless you have some pleasant-looking shelter-thingy to stash it in by the side of the house).

2. For me, washing brand-new clothes before wearing them depends on a few factors, including how the material looks, feels and smells right out of the package, AND how much I need to wear that item right away.

3. It does NOT make sense to me, to take dirty clothes in the opposite direction of the washing machine for sorting if it's more than a few steps away. Upstairs? No way; I'm much too lazy to ever do that.

4. Cottage cheese and eggs? Yum! And even better with salsa or tobasco!

5. How long after your return home before requesting a task be done? I don't usually do that but, if I did, it might be because a) the thing needed doing right away, b) I was upset about it's having been neglected, or c) I hadn't had a chance to it down yet and wanted to ask before I forgot. My husband---who usually checks his email and takes a catnap before getting on with his evening---would, of course, have the option of reminding me that he'd just gotten home and would need a few minutes to unwind before dealing with any assignments.

6. I don't know about scoring, but somebody might watch soccer on television because they're curious about a sport that's become huge mania around the world, or they're fascinated by the incredible footwork of the stars, or maybe they're just trying to remember when they themselves had youth, speed, agility, and the ability, in general, to be vigorous without wondering if they were going to stroke out any minute.

Anonymous said...

1. Where we live now, the cans are on the side of the garage, though this is really the back of the house. (Attached garage with entrance that is perpendicular to the front of the house.)

2. I rarely ever wash them first. With my son's clothes however, we wash them before letting him wear them. But he has sensitive skin.

3. Doesn't seem smart to me.

4. I don't like cottage cheese, and only recently (a couple of years ago) started eating eggs, so anyone would think I was acting weird if anything.

5. If she would be coming back from a working environment, it would be an hour at least.

6. No clue on figure skating. Johnny already explained ERA. And I happen to like soccer, so I watch it when I can on TV. It's like a big chess match sometimes. Sure it's low scoring, but the anticipation and build up of watching the teams maneuver make it so interesting to watch.

Anonymous said...

1. In the front, but behind a huge tree. I'd keep it in the side yard but the gate is barely wider than the can.

2. Back when they used to put stiff starch and sizing in a lot of clothes, I always washed them before wearing because they were uncomfortable. Haven't run into that in years, though. I do, however, wash new dishes before using them.

3. Nope, makes no sense to me. We sort 'em by the hampers in the bedroom, wash 'em in the garage, and sort the clean ones in front of one tv or the other.

4. Never seen it but doesn't sound bad, especially if someone is on a low-carb diet or allergic to wheat. But I live in the land of grits, so I'm used to seeing a formless white pile on the plate with the eggs.

5. Depends on the task. "Could you plunge the toilet because it's been clogged and stinky all day?" would not be something to greet someone with at the door. On the other hand, "Could you plunge the toilet because it's backing up all over the floor RIGHT NOW!" would take precedence.

"Could you pop this bottle of champagne?" would be an OK task to spring on someone right away.

6. (a) Don't know. (b) I'm sure Barry has explained this to me, but when he talks about sports I only look like I'm paying attention. (c) You could ask Barry. He watches it all the time.

kate said...

1. Garbage can stays in the garage until trash pick up day.

2. I wash underwear before wearing it for the first time. I wear everything else before washing.

3. I hear you. The dirty clothes are on the second floor in my house, and only make the trip down to the basement. (No up and down before washing.) Kitchen towels can go either way. I usually toss them down the cellar stairs, rather than take them upstairs.

4. Hmm. I've had eggs with cottage cheese. I don't usually.

5. I don't ask. Don't have to.

6. I don't know.